Civility

Reflecting on my own (mis)adventures in commenting 'round the blogosphere, and observing the differing proportions of heat and light that radiate in blogospheric discussion, I've been meditating on the question:

What is civility?

I'd say: a disposition which aims to treat an antagonist in such a way as to cultivate an environment of maximal mutual respect. Hence civility might be taken as an aspect of being humane - "reaching out" and acting on the assumption of an opponent's good faith.

I think, within limits, civility is defensible both on principle and as a matter of expediency.

On principle, we might be alive to the fact that, subjectively, the experience of "certitude" tends to press on us each equally (experience of conviction), even if the quality of our certainty - objectively considered - isn't the same.

Practically, if our goal is the truth (a big if), then it's in our interest to keep our temper in check, so that our judgment isn't distorted, and we don't put ourselves in the position where to admit being mistaken down the line also entails having to apologize for arguing obnoxiously on behalf of the mistake;

and:

we don't want to give our interlocutor-opponent any reason to feel that to accede to our view entails the admission that previously he was a "fool" or an "idiot" to think as he did.

In other words, the aim is to remove impedimenta to acknowledging merit in the opponent's view; humility is fine - but let's leave humiliation out.

That said, I do - to a point - value "passion" in argument: after all what we're disputing usually is a pressing matter of life (i.e., pertains to ethics-politics), and it seems artificial to treat differences over such things similarly to a merely "academic" discussion. I guess, as with many things, there's a fine line.

Speaking of lines, we each have a different one which, if crossed, nullifies the utility of civility. If it could be imagined, picture debating with somebody who propounded the merits of, say, rape. Presumably at some point in such a discussion, the proper response would be ... force.